ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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