And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
