Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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