In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I want a musical about memes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
