i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
