She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
