No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
