Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
