if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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