The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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