Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
