He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
