I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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