Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
