This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
