wrigley field is MILF paradise
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
