Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
