There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
