i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
