alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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