so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
