I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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