Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
