Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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