Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
