so that wasnt chicken after all
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
