I'm really into asian looking animals
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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