No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
