He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
