its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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