Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
