Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
