worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
