i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
