smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
