fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
