I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
