It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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