I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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