it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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