How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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