I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
