hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize