my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just found a bag of teeth...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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