he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
