Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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