I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
cat food counts as protein by the way
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
