So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
