He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
