he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
