A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
