Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
