Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
