Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
