You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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