I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize