Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize