i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize