**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This baby is an asshole
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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