She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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