seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
