My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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