So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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