I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
