Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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