To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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