...so i touched it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
