I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
