Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
