K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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